So, tiny darlings. Alert the media at once, and open the good gin; things are about to get LOUD.
The Demon Gin music act is happening.
Don't all faint at once.
Seriously - so sorry, loyal readers (all five of
you) that the blog has been on hiatus for so long, but there have
been many, many irons in fires and many, many trips to the hospital
where doctors tell me “do you know how much money we've spent
fixing your frigging burnt hands, you pointless bint?”
But the good news is that there will be
more news, more banter and more stories to share with you from now
on. This is a holding post for now just to keep you and new fans
(hello!) updated.
I will go into great detail on how all
this music craziness began in my next posts, but for now I have
listed everything you need to know below (the About page, Facebook
and Twitter accounts have all been updated too).
There's three of us now. Well,
three not counting the voice in my head. And we're not counting
them. SHUT UP, YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE!!!! Sorry...
The band consists of myself as
singer/songwriter, Ben Holliday on acoustic guitar and mandolin, and
Greg Ireland on mandolin, clarinet, vocals and percussion.
Our musical style is macabre roots, dark folk and grim
cabaret, and we play original songs and trad tunes that channel
roots, folk, musical theatre, cabaret and vaudeville.
Check the Facebook page for gig details for now, and a gig page will be added to this site
shortly
We have JUST started, so stick with us while we sort out
things like photos and flyers and and hot tub parties and gambling
addictions
A LOT of characters in the songs die or are insane. Or want
to kill you. Or are walls.
We are on the prowl for more gigs, so please do message us
with suggestions or options. We will have some demo tracks to share
soon.
How many hats should I wear for our first few
gigs........maybe 3...4?.....ahhh this is the sort of conflict they
warned me to expect in the music industry...
I have inexplicably forgotten the code to the my office’s
entrance door.
The outer lock of the staff entrance to my building is one of those old fashioned ‘push the buttons together but in the right order’ deelies, but it may as well be the Rubix cube from hell these days. I'll be working from home from now on, someone inform my boss.
I USED to know it. Oh yes, I pride myself in being really
rather good at remembering sequential actions. I was told the code once on the
first day, and remembered it instantly. In hindsight, I probably should have
written it down.
Because it’s not like I ask can ask anyone I work with what
the code is, is it? I’ve worked there for more than a year. I’m technically a
manager in that I am an actual
manager. Managers are supposed to KNOW this stuff. I can’t just waltz in one
morning, high five everyone, and say ‘hey pals, can anyone tell me what the
code is to enter this building because I’m either that stupid OR I’ve had a
mild stroke?’ They’d take away my biscuits again.
And also, I can’t ask my team because I can’t get into my
frigging office!!!
Every morning for days – DAYS – I have sauntered up to the
back door, happy and chirpy, wondering what that strange imposing sense
of dread is until I reach out for the door handle, and it all comes flooding
back. Yes, it’s true – I even forget that I’ve forgotten something.
The scene either plays out in one of two ways - and bare in
mind that while my office entrance is not on a busy high street, it is visible
to some passers-by.
The first sees me frantically punching in random
combinations of code and hammering the handle with gritted teeth. There’s only
so many times you can do this, before you have to pretend that you didn’t
actually want to go into the building because of a very very important text message that needs addressing straight away.
And lo, there you stand, pretending to text until someone else arrives for work
and lets you in. Every time I act like nothing is wrong. It’s just a web of
lies, day in, day out.
Scenario two is much more pathetic. In this situation, I
stand for literally minutes outside the door, hand hovering in the air, staring
wide-eyed at the combination pad, willing myself to remember or for the door to
stop being such a bastard and just open by itself. Surely I’m due one free magical door opening by now.
But wait. It gets more tragic.
The other day, I went out for lunch alone and returned a
short while later, deeeply immersed in the music I was listening to on my
phone.I suddenly looked up, and found
myself inside the building, the offending door swinging closed behind me; I had
punched in the right code without even thinking about it and walked in without
a second glance.
‘Christ, I did it!’ I cried, and then cracked my knuckles
and hurtled back outside of my own free will,
and let the door slam shut. Nothing to fear, I smirked. The same luck would
surely repeat itself and I would punch in the code again without thinking and
this time, I would memorise it.
Autumn season is upon us and that means another splendid
production by The Canterbury Players is around the corner. Which means I get to
force people to pay money to pay attention to me. Yay! Having appeared in a smasher of a show at The Marlowe Studio
in the summer, I was offered the role off Hannah in Tom Stoppard’s masterpiece,
Arcadia, which will play at The Gulbenkian from 4th to 7th
November and is directed by lovely Becky aka Miscriant.
Ahhhh Stoppard. Stoppard.
Oh Christ, I’ve just realised something…….he’s good, isn’t
he?
I mean, like, really good. Like,
Shakespeare good. Like all his words actually mean something. The kind of words
that help the people in the audience on tenuous dates to have sex with each
other because the script composition is so witty and so brilliant that you feel
like nothing in your life that will ever be as beautiful or as beguiling so you
may as well just have sex because you sort of know you’re good at that and why
not just attempt to be okay at something for 15mins?
Yes, that level of good.
This is Ben's script because I left mine in a car.
And I wrote a phone number on it when I couldn't find a pad.
I think it's the number for Port Lympne Reserve. Visit it, it's nice
Arcadia is indeed a masterpiece, intertwining literature,
sex, thermo-dynamics, gardening, academia with his usual biting humour and yes,
blah blah blah the words the words are wonderful, well I HAVE TO LEARN THEM
OKAY?!
But it's okay, I've developed a fool proof system of notes. Some
of you dear readers may be amateur thesps yourselves, or perhaps you harbour a
secret desire to tread the boards.
Well to help you on your way, I’ve decided to share some of
my private script notes – my method, if you will – so you might learn from my
experience.
Acting is about knowing when to act. It's important to remind yourself of this.
You will need to be on stage almost every time that your character is on stage. It's best to hover by the wings, making sure that you don't go on without you.
Physical acting can be challenging and confusing.
I should have learned the dates earlier because I sure as hell haven't been saying these ones. I swear, I think at some point I said '1732 to 1485' in rehearsal.
Yep, lots more of that.
Oh Jesus, that's a lot of words. Ohhhhhhh I should really look these people up.
And also look inquisitive. Look and speak inquisitively when asking questions. And yell. Always yell questions.
In all seriousness, here are some actual am dram tips. (If
you’re a pro, go way you’re getting paid get back to your script and your
roasted swan)
TAKE AWAY THE SAFETY
NET
Try putting your script down sooner than you’d like, and lose the prompt (if you have one) for a
couple of rehearsals close to curtain up. It feels uncomfortable, but it’s
supposed to. If your lines are not in your head and others are waiting for
their cues, it’s painful. But one thing that's sure to make me learn my lines
is the fear of looking unprofessional in front of others
TAKE STOCK
Reread everything
YES THAT INCLUDES THE BITS YOU AREN’T IN. All too often we focus solely on our own roles. You can't
let that shit fly. Every character, every scene,
informs on the next, and you better know it inside out. That's why it's a play.
TAKE A LESSON FROM
HOPKINS
You can never know your lines enough. It's an old acting
cliche that you have to know who your character is, inside and out, but the
reason it's hammered home so often if that it's not an easy job.
Anthony Hopkins reportedly examined his lines up to 200
times until he didn’t even have to think about ‘saying a line’ any more. He
just knew his character completely.
Are you better than Anthony Hopkins? ARE YOU?
AND FINALLY…
NEVER, EVER FORGET YOUR LINES. Not for one second. Every
horrifying feeling you have about the world collapsing if you forget a line is
true: if you drop a line you’re AWFUL and the world will burn and people will laugh at you. What kind of person can’t even learn a words without having to hold an itty
bitty piece of paper to help them?!! LEARN YOUR DAMN LINES.
.......Oh I kid, I kid! You’ll be fine, tiny darlings. Acting is not that scary really.
Want to SEE me act? Come and see Arcadia in Canterbury this November - we promise it will have all the acting you could imagine. Book here please
I know it’s been an age, tiny darlings. I should have left a
note, should have explained my unforgivable absence. I should have written
something on a mirror, in lipstick. Or put a Post-It on a goose.
Ideally, the reasons for my many weeks’ absence would be
shocking, sexy and a little upsetting. Such as being kidnapped by pirates who
forced me to play backgammon for hours on end with my clothes on, despite my
protestations.
In truth, I needed a hiatus to focus on work, and the play I
was in, and the travelling I was doing, and the sitting I needed, and the gin
sampling that let’s face it has become rather sad now.
But have no fear, I will be back shortly with many posts to
come that are sure to tickle you. Such as…
My current gin recommendations (so good you’ll
rub yourself in juniper)
Why I can’t get into my office
A magical drinking pillow
My search for the perfect espresso martini
Tales from The Duck and Bastard
Uhh….Belfast? Yeah, Belfast, I haven’t done
Belfast yet
I don’t know, something about cats
All of this will be with you in good time. In the meantime, here is a picture of Django looking shocked.
That bitch be blogging about what?!
And here is a picture of me with fabulous hair, annoyed that
Ben is reading the paper and not commenting on the fabulous hair.
And here is picture of a cream tea I had in Devon which apparently started a
war
And here’s a picture of the world’s greatest folk session in
Edinburgh’s The Royal Oak, taken at 3am during the festival.
And here’s a picture of a table I painted for no good reason.
It is World Gin Day, tiny darlings. Everybody get naked!
We shouldn’t need to be reminded of gin’s loveliness, of why our beloved spirit is a holy elixir of truth and beauty, but who am I to shun an entire day of gin talk/drinking/bathing?
The beau and I are getting into our drinks tours of late – breweries, micropubs, distilleries, we’ll visit anything and drink it dry. I know I know it’s sickeningly hipster of us, and also a terrible shame that drinking cheap wine in the aisles of Netto while sobbing is no longer good enough for us. But it’s a tipple-fuelled tide we could not swim against.
Every day, we’re told to stop producing so much waste.
Weekly, we roll out our landfill wheelie bins under cover of
darkness so no one will know just how full they really are. Daily, people in
offices snatch rubbish from your hands and force it in to the recycling bin
while cursing your existence. Hourly, a polar bear commits suicide because you keep
buying plastic wrapped leeks instead of the PERFECTLY ADEQUATE LOOSE ONES.
Most of us grown ups grew up in a time of excessive,
repeated and unjustified waste. It was pre-recession and we didn’t really care
about stuffing plastic bags down a dolphin’s throat because we could just
demand that the Government buy more dolphins. But times have changed and the
world, thankfully, is more willing to embrace a ‘less is more’ and ‘ignorance
isn’t bliss’ attitude when it comes to waste.
Which leads me to the centre of the shrubbery maze that is
this blog’s introduction…