Ten Things Not To Do...On New Year's Eve

1. Don't, if you are hosting, make a massive buffet and then stand next to it, slapping food out of people's hands for no good reason.

The Great Unknown

A man presented his wife to me the other day.

The man was of a certain age. Certainly about 63. He was actively twitching with agitation and embarrassment. His wife was a short wide-eyed figure, like a deer caught in the headlights or a child being told 'it’s off to market for you, fat boy'. 

Eat This - Smoked Salmon Pate

I’ve decided to put up a recipe post. I really don’t know why. People seem to put up recipes on these blog things. They put them online and people talk of the offerings and then recreate them and bring them to parties. And then more people do the same and the never-ending cycle of cooking and talking about it continues. 

I Can't Take A Blogging Picture

Apparently photos are important for blogs. So I have been trying to take more photos of my life and of things I see.

This is not working out well. 

Today

It worries me how often I am compelled, when writing reports at work, to add in the sentence “and if this does not go to plan, eight puppies will die”.

Sometimes I write said words on a post it note, and look at them for a while. Then I return to my keyboard, and forget all about it.

I go to the bank today

I go to the bank today to ask them to change my name on my account.

A boy child sits behind a desk and smiles a lot.

Be warned: Christmas trees

I warned you that I cannot accept all Christmas traditions and fancies. Didn't I warn you? Don't say I didn't warn you, because I did.

So let's begin with the thing most of you having been fretting over for weeks. Real Christmas trees.

Tis the season

Cometh the festive season. The winter solstice, Saturnalia, Advent, Yalda, Watch Night....Shark Week. Jolly people are putting on ludicrous jumpers, wrapping gifts and throttling fatted geese with strings of musical fairy lights. Others are slamming their doors on carolers, and punching reindeer in the face.

All, one way or another, in the spirit of Christmas.

Things I have seen

I’m pretty sure I’ve just seen Terry Pratchett in our boardroom…….it’s possible. Not likely. But possible.

There once was a blog...

People, people, people.

I have started a blog. Yes, yes, it's true – remember (current friends) all those months ago when I asked if starting a blog would make me a...y'know, c word?