Festive Ham in Ginger Beer & Spiced Cider

Making a ham are you? A nice festive ham? Got a bottle of cola and a bay leaf at the ready?

Well stop that right now. It being the season of goodwill, I have arrived just in time to bring you a new way of preparing your festive gammon, for ‘tis sure to fill your guests with delight, and joy, and some cement.

Be warned: Christmas trees

I warned you that I cannot accept all Christmas traditions and fancies. Didn't I warn you? Don't say I didn't warn you, because I did.

So let's begin with the thing most of you having been fretting over for weeks. Real Christmas trees.

Tis the season

Cometh the festive season. The winter solstice, Saturnalia, Advent, Yalda, Watch Night....Shark Week. Jolly people are putting on ludicrous jumpers, wrapping gifts and throttling fatted geese with strings of musical fairy lights. Others are slamming their doors on carolers, and punching reindeer in the face.

All, one way or another, in the spirit of Christmas.